I’ve been dreading whatever’s to come of this light flirtation between Keller and Nick, who’s at least 43 and thinks it’s appropriate to be pursuing his daughter’s 24-year-old teacher. How dare this boy not keep the woman who gave birth to him waiting in the cold when you’ll see him at school the next morning! Like any child with borderline respect for their parents’ authority, he gets inside the cab, and Zoya is left sulking on the sidewalk while her gorgeous lion mane blows in the wind. When Helena calls Obie over to the cab to go home, Zoya instructs Obie to tell his mom to wait because he’s talking to his girlfriend like some sort of test, which is absolutely insane considering he’s like 12. Outside, Obie complains to Zoya that she went “too hard” at Roger. Aki’s mom immediately suspects it’s Aki who has just dashed out of the vicinity. Audrey, who’s also there, tells him to be careful with his words, saying “someone at the table” might be gay. Afterward, while everyone’s waiting for their cars, Roger complains about a lawsuit his company is dealing with after a CCO asked a gay employee to stop discussing their male spouse at work. Helena ignores Zoya throughout, and Obie is clearly embarrassed by her. It just feels a little performative in the way she has accused Obie of being performative, when she has elected to have dinner with these monstrous people and let Roger pay for her caviar. Zoya can’t resist but call out Roger for being a wealthy asshole, as if he hasn’t heard that a million times in his career. He, along with Aki’s mom and Aki herself, is mostly present so we can get some context for Aki’s remaining in the closet. After Zoya basically has to force a meeting between the three of them, they attend a dinner hosted by Aki’s dad, Roger, who runs a right-wing media conglomerate. And he’s apparently not even brave enough to tell his mom he has a new, less rich, light-skinned girlfriend. Zoya’s still not convinced that Obie’s walking the walk as much as he’s talking the talk regarding his socialist beliefs. Speaking of this show’s commitment issues, I was shocked that this episode actually digs into Obie’s fraught relationship with his family, specifically with his steely German mother, Helena. And nothing’s more maddening than learning this person we were made to believe was a girlboss is, in fact, not a girlboss! It’s truly some of the most sleep-inducing television I’ve ever watched. But instead of returning to some of her earlier story lines, about her dad’s new girlfriend or her breakup with Monet that happened literally a second ago, we’re forced to watch her meet with reps from Glossier and L’oréal to discuss potential partnerships with her dad. The writers understand that Julien desperately needs something to do. Julien says she has declined paychecks because her dad provides for her financially, but even the wealthiest nepto-babies, including literal babies, are earning their own coin posting detox smoothies and teeth-whitening products!
It just doesn’t make sense that an attractive fashion influencer with enough clout to appear on TMZ isn’t raking in a single dime! It also doesn’t make sense that her power-hungry, social-media-savvy minions weren’t forcing her to collaborate with brands for her own image.
This week, we find out that this alleged “influencer” has never posted any sponcon because she doesn’t collaborate with brands, which doesn’t add up on any level. Unfortunately, this show still has no idea what it wants to do with her or why she’s even the protagonist six episodes in.
Well, the characters who have storylines - which brings me once again to Julien. So bravo to you!Īlthough this week’s episode is still, um, not good, we can at least catch our breath with an hour that isn’t overstuffed with plot and that actually commits to carrying out the story lines it established earlier for our characters. Making it to the midpoint of this season is no small feat considering the amount of plot holes, aborted story lines, and lazy Serena and Blair references we’ve had to deal with. To those of us who have decided to stay on the rickety, unstable roller coaster that is Gossip Girl 2.0, for masochistic reasons, wanting to look at Luke Kirby in a bomber jacket, or otherwise: Pat yourselves on the back.